July 11th, 2005

good girls

I seek peace

Today I have been ripped apart. Called trailor trash (when I grew up in a crime infested hood, no where NEAR a trailor) , a breeder, lazy ass (because Im on welfare). Told I am stupid and disgusting. Reminded of how ashamed I should be for using tax payers money to get on my feet. All this has been driven into my head by total strangers!

I feel like I've just been beaten to a pulp. Im humiliated. Hurt. And I am very much ashamed. Yet, I have NO desire to play the victim. If I were starving, and offered food I would take it. Just like I use this welfare to get on my feet so I can make a future for my family.

Perhaps I've been stupid to get myself in a position where I HAVE a family before I was ready. But, you'd be surprised at how many welfare moms don't even realize that much. I have a good head on my shoulders... and I Have\will make good use of this help. I know one day I WILL be successful. I will make my children proud. My mistakes have been made, why do people take joy in throwing them in my face? If only they knew... that they can't kick me any where near as hard as I kick myself.